Adoption: The Gospel In My Living Room.

“Adoption is a beautiful picture of redemption. It is the Gospel in my living room.” 

Katie J. Davis, Kisses from Katie: A Story of Relentless Love and Redemption

For the first time in four months, as I sat on my friend’s couch, I let myself break down. The tears poured out as I told her I’d made the decision to move out and separate from my husband. I’d maintained a public presence of strength and faith throughout our whole ordeal but I now had to face a question I had never contemplated- what if God didn't restore my marriage?

I didn't know what that looked like. I grew up knowing that marriage was an earthly representation of Christ’s love for the church. I had always wanted my marriage to be a witness of that relationship. I thought surely God was putting me through this struggle as a way for me to better understand His love and use it for His glory. So many Sundays, I would cry during communion knowing how often I cheated on my relationship with God yet He still forgave me in spite of my infidelity. As I struggled to keep my marriage together, I prayed continually for the strength and humility to do just that for my husband. I thought, “God if you get us through this, we are going to have such a beautiful picture of your redemption!” I never thought, but what if You don’t?

Later that same day we met another friend for lunch and I raised that question. How will people see God’s grace and forgiveness and His redeeming plan in a divorce? That can’t be His plan. I couldn't wrap my mind around it. But they had faith I hadn't reached yet, that God’s plans are bigger than ours and He will do His work despite our sins and shortcomings. Divorce grieved Him as it did me, but it didn't mean He wouldn't use it that He couldn't show redemption in my life.

Over a year later, I still struggle when I hear references to our relationship with Christ looking like a marriage. I still believe that to be true with all my heart and am thankful for such a poetic image. But it’s a picture that has been tainted. Healing has happened but the scars are still tender, and right or wrong, it’s still an image I’m not ready to look at just yet. But what’s crazy is this past year it’s as if God knew I would need a different picture of His love to look to when my spirit was weak. My faith was still tattered enough that I needed to see His love in a physical manifestation so He provided that: He gave me adoption.

MoMo entered our lives March 2, 2012. I don’t think this timing was a coincidence. Only a week after this I would discover my husband’s secrets; my life as I knew it would change and my faith would be shaken. But God would take this little girl and show me His story is something bigger than any of us.

It didn't take long before I fell completely in love with MoMo. Her sass and energy are kindred to mine which I find thoroughly entertaining. We've bonded over our love of Disney and all things girly. It’s hard to think of what life was like before MoMo, as if she’s always belonged here. Her soon-to-be forever family has brought her into their lives, home and hearts 100 percent, as if she was their own. They've done much the same for me, allowing me to be a bigger part of MoMo’s life than I ever could have hoped for: taking her on Starbucks dates, tucking her in and saying prayer with her at night and trusting me with her care. I've gotten to watch her grow emotionally and spiritually as they shower her with love and acceptance and raise her up in God’s Word and church family. The love they have for her and she has for them has helped me grow emotionally and spiritually as well. This family has given me something tangible to look at here on earth of what God has done for each of us; they've shown me another picture of God’s redeeming love.

John 14:18 says, “No, I will not abandon you as orphans, I will come to you.”

Adoption requires a decision. God made a choice to come to us and bring us into His family.

“His unchanging plan has always been to adopt us into His own family by bringing us to Himself through Jesus Christ. And this gave Him great pleasure.” Ephesians 1:5

He brought us into His family through His Son. “God sent Him to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that He could adopt us as His very own children. And because we are His children, God has sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, prompting us to call out, “Abba, Father.” Galatians 4:5-6

This past month MoMo’s dad received a text from her that said: “You are the best dad I ever had.”

When I read that text and as I write it now, I still choke up. I’m not really sure how many fatherly figures have walked in and out of MoMo’s life. The instability and inconsistency she’s had to experience at such a young age is more than anyone should ever have to encounter. If she were to shut down emotionally and fight against the world around her, it would be understandable. But here she was less than two years after walking into the home of strangers calling out to her daddy, accepting His love and giving love in return.

MoMo has been surrounded with love and she has been cared for as one of their own, just as God has loved each of us and continued to care for us as one of His own. This family made a choice to bring her into their hearts and though they would probably never look at it like this, they've made sacrifices so that she could live where she is loved unconditionally and eternally. They have redeemed her life. They are showing God’s love to this little girl, to me and to so many others by choosing adoption.

God didn't stop with their story. He continued to remind me of His love through other families too. Of course there’s my brother and his wife as they prepare to adopt two more children this year, and in February 2013, two more friends would open their home and lives to a beautiful baby girl when she was just two days old. Once again, it’s hard to look back and remember life without her. I haven’t met a happier baby- so full of joy and smiles and blessing all of us with them. She now has a future of promise because she has two parents that love the Lord and love her and have chosen adoption. This family’s story is another one that radiates God’s love for us; His love for me.

That verse in Ephesians says that it was always His plan to adopt me and that He took great pleasure in doing so. It didn't matter that I screwed up and that I’m going to keep screwing up because when He adopted me, He chose me for forever and always. He said yes to loving me unconditionally and taking care of me no matter what. Before I knew my faith would falter, my Father did. And He went before me to lay out a plan to carry His child through to a faith stronger than before. He wrote a story greater than I ever could have created on my own. He gave me these beautiful kiddos to love on and this beautiful picture of adoption that shows me despite my failures His redeeming love remains. He remains. He’s the very best dad I've ever had.

See how very much our Father loves us, for He calls us His children, and that is what we are! 

1 John 3:1